Archive for November, 2008

You can’t pardon a turkey?

November 26, 2008 at 8:44 am · Filed under aches & pains, funny, holidays, tv

My feelings of Thanksgiving are gradually getting better.  I’m going to go home tonight with determination to get my place ready to put my Christmas tree up tomorrow.  I will have the girls at my place tomorrow if it kills me.

I heard this soundbyte (bite?) on the radio this morning and I remembered how awesome The West Wing is… I really ought to start watching the DVD’s I bought months ago.  Anyhow, here’s the transcript of one of the best scenes ever:

C.J.:  Mr. President.

BARTLET: Yeah?

C.J.:  Hi!

BARTLET: Hi.

C.J.:  I’m sorry to ask you this, sir.

BARTLET: Not too late to stop yourself.

C.J.:  I need you to pardon a turkey.

BARTLET: I already pardoned a turkey.

C.J.:  I need you to pardon another one.

BARTLET: Didn’t I do it right?

C.J.:  You did it great, but I need you to come out here and pardon another one.

BARTLET: Aren’t I gonna get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?

C.J.:  Sir, could you come out here and just get this over with?

BARTLET: No, I’m not just gonna get this–What the hell is going on?

C.J.:  They sent me two turkeys. The most photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children’s zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.

BARTLET: If the Oscars were like that, I’d watch.

C.J.:  Mr. President…

BARTLET: Just buy the second turkey.

C.J.:  They already sold it.

BARTLET: There’s not much I can do.

C.J.:  You can pardon the turkey.

BARTLET: The turkey hasn’t committed a crime.

C.J.:  Sir…

BARTLET: C.J., I have really no judicial jurisdiction over birds.

C.J.:  Yes, I know that, and you know that, but Morton Horn doesn’t know that.

BARTLET: Who’s Morton…?

C.J.:  He’s a high school kid from the turkey place.

BARTLET: He’s in high school and he doesn’t know I can’t pardon his turkey?

C.J.:  That’s what I’m betting.

BARTLET: C.J., if we don’t and I mean completely overhaul public education in this country…

C.J.:  Yes sir, but maybe this is not the best time to…

BARTLET: Where the hell is he?

C.J.:  Right out there.

Bartlet immediately heads for the door, with C.J. following behind him.

As Bartlet and C.J. come out of the Oval Office, we see Donna and Morton by the door of the room near Charlie’s desk. Troy, the turkey, is in front of them.

C.J.:  Morton, this is President Bartlet.

BARTLET: Hey, Morton.

MORTON: Wow.

BARTLET: Well said. Is that the turkey?

DONNA: Yes.

BARTLET: [to the turkey] You’re pardoned.

C.J.:  Sir…

BARTLET: What do you want?

C.J.:  Well, you know…

BARTLET: [to the turkey again] By the power vested in me by the Constitution of the United States,
I hereby pardon you.

MORTON: [pleased] Okay.

BARTLET: No, it’s not okay.

C.J.:  Sir…

BARTLET: Morton, I can’t pardon a turkey. If you think I can pardon a turkey, then you have got to go back to your school and insist that you be better prepared to go out in the world.

DONNA: You can’t pardon a turkey?

BARTLET: [beat] No. I tell you what I can do. I’m drafting this turkey into military service. In the meantime, somebody will be drafting a check, which will have my signature on it, so the folks can buy themselves a Butterball.

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I saw a mountain from high above.

November 25, 2008 at 8:19 am · Filed under Uncategorized

I’m hoping that this week is going to turn out much like the week before my 30th birthday did – where I was depressed up until the point where the day actually hit and then I was fine and dandy.

Of course, the better option would be to not be depressed at all, but since it’s hitting me full force despite my attempts to curb it… well… yeah.

So this is going to come out a jumbled mess, but bear with me:

I helped another senior go grocery shopping over the weekend.  This sounds like a simple enough task, yes?  Except that this senior had some major depression issues going on and recently discharged herself from the psych ward.  When I walked into her place the first thing she said to me was, “Now you listen to me: I’m not going to the hospital.” I looked at her rather puzzled and said, “I’m sorry?” She explained that she was feeling weak last week and she sometimes has seizures and if she had one while at the store she didn’t want them taking her to the hospital because the nurses were something along the lines of Nurse Rachet from One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest.  I told her simply, “Sweetie, if you have a seizure while you’re with me I’m going ot have to call a doctor.  I am not a medical professional who can take care of you like that.”  She said fine, but she wasn’t going to let them take her away to the hospital.

Anyhow, we go shop.  We get everything off her list and when I say, “we did it!” to her she begins to cry and says she couldn’t have done this without my help and I’m a gift from God for her and what on earth did she do to deserve me – etc. etc.

Point of this whole story is that this woman needs more help than I can give her.  Luckily, after talking with the director of the senior program, the plan was never for me to take on this woman as another senior to visit – she just needed help at the moment, requested a woman to shop with her, and I was available.  I may be asked to help her one more time, but Morrie is my senior whom I am to bond with, and have already started to do so… and that’s that.

So this was all Sunday and when I left her house I called Josh, got some groggy, but helpful advice from him (and he got the brunt of my crying over wanting to help everyone, yet not feeling strong enough to help this woman)… I then talked to Andrea who said what I needed to hear and all was well with the world again. 

Except that I was so drained I had zero desire to do anything I had planned so I took a small nap (set my alarm so as to not oversleep).

 

I woke up in time for dinner and gave Jody a call.  She picked me up and we went to our (well, hers really, but I like it too) favorite Chinese place – as we’re at a light, we witness a hit and run accident right in front of us.  We pull over to make sure the woman who was hit was ok (she was) and give our information to her, just in case her insurance company wants to hear what anyone else saw.  Hopefully it will work out in her favor that the intersection of said accident had a blue light on it… maybe she’ll be lucky that it caught his license plate number or something. 

 

The point of all this is that I didn’t get done nearly what I had hoped to get done Sunday because I was too busy with the emotional draining of not being able to help with ANYTHING that happened in front of me.   Oh, let’s not even begin to talk about what was either a very strange panic attack, or some seriously fucked up lucid dreaming as I was laying in bed Monday night.  I remember praying that if I fell asleep to please God let me wake up in the morning.  I don’t know how to explain it really, but it was like my body knew if I allowed myself to drift into sleep it wasn’t going to be a good thing… It might explain why I was up at 4am yesterday.

And I stayed at work til 6:30pm because both RSG’s needed to stay late and I had zero cash to take the train.  That put a major damper on my desire to clean, which is going to hinder having the place put together for Thursday so I can put up a Christmas tree and NOT think about missing a family that is no longer my own. 

This is the other fucked up thing (I don’t even care that I’m swearing, but that’s another deal) about this whole holiday: it was never ever ever a big deal growing up!  Sure I spent some Thanksgivings with my dad, and my mom and I would do a turkey every now and then, but every. single. year I was with the ex we either cooked a turkey for ourselves, or we ended up in Connecticut.   Over the weekend I was doing my dishes and it just suddenly dawned on me that said ex probably already flew out there and is with his family. 

I keep saying I don’t miss my ex, and I don’t.  He and I were SUCH a wrong fit for each other… it doesn’t change that sometimes I miss having SOMEONE by my side.  And I know I have friends and I’m not alone in that sense and I have my own family who I will see in a few weeks so it’s not that I’m not thankful to have those people in my life, but having a significant other by your side is just a different feeling.  Again, this is probably pathetic whining and whatnot – I realize that – but it doesn’t make me feel any better about the whole thing.

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The night is yours alone…

November 23, 2008 at 12:37 am · Filed under life, motivation, self esteem

Not to toot my own horn, but I have a pretty fabulous life.

There are moments though, like one I had tonight, that come out of nowhere, smack me across the face and make me want to curl up and cry.

I’m getting much better at letting that moment sink in for just that – a moment – and moving on.  Dwelling on what I do not have isn’t good for my soul.

So, I’ll focus on staying fabulous and knowing that this life I’m living… it’s all me.

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Live it out loud…

November 13, 2008 at 11:30 am · Filed under Chicago, aches & pains, debt, exercise, family, life, motivation, self esteem, volunteering, weight

OK.. brain dump about to commence:

I’ve had 2 sessions with PJ.  Last week was my first and I felt good afterwards and confident I’d be able to complete my ‘homework’, which was to make sure I got to the gym twice during the week to do cardio. 

I failed my homework by not going at all.

I don’t know if it was my failed homework, or if she was just trying to push more or what, but last night.  Holy Jesus did she kick my ass.  The first thing she did was get a stair-stepper, put it to it’s highest setting and then put 2 30lb weights on it.  I laughed a little as she walked over with the weights because I half-expected she was going to make me do something with them, but no.  She put the stair-stepper with the weights atop it parallel to a column.  She then got one of those little stretchy exercise bands, put it around the column and said, “Ok, use these for stability and do your squats – your butt should barely touch the weights.”  I had to do 15 of these.

Then there were other exercises, and 15 more squats.

More exercises, and another 15 more squats.

Two different exercises and just when I thought I was done she had me do 15 more squats.

In case you lost count?  60 squats.  “See, if I had told you at the start of the hour you’d be doing 60 squats you would have run away.”  She’s totally right.

Anyhow, I’m super amped up today and hope it lasts throughout the day so that I go home, toss on my gym clothes, and go do my cardio tonight.  My legs don’t hurt so much today, but I know they will tomorrow – and I REALLY won’t want to go tomorrow.

——————–

I had to bail on Morrie this Monday because I had had a headache that had gone on for over a week and decided to go to the doctor to make sure something serious wasn’t going on.  The doctor attributed it to girly matters and when I asked why I’d suddenly get splitting headaches when that was never a side-effect before she said, “welcome to your thirties.”  Ugh. 

Anyhow, it was good that I went because I found out a test I had earlier this year was abnormal and I was supposed to go in for a follow-up in 6 months.  Turns out that 6 months is THIS month, so I’ve got another dr’s appointment next Monday.  Here’s hoping all goes well with that and the abnormal test result was a fluke.

But, going back to Morrie, I’m going to go visit him tomorrow night after work.  He’s a pleasure to talk to and have I mentioned he’s an amazing painter? 

This weekend is also the Chicken Luncheon for the hospital group I’m volunteering for (how I met Morrie).  Andi is going to come along with me and we’re going to talk with seniors, wrap gifts for the holidays, and…I’m not sure what else but it should be fun!

—————-

I took a tele-class earlier this week about finding my inner “Greatness”.  I was a little indifferent about the class at first, but I’m rethinking some of the lessons we did during the class and finding out different things about myself that I wasn’t hyper-aware of.  The best thing I got from it was an assignment (I seem to get alot of those lately) to ask people who are near and dear to me to name a couple of things that make me “great” in their eyes.  Sure, it sounds like fishing for compliments, and maybe it is a little bit, but honestly? It was EXACTLY what I needed.  Amazingly enough, the best response from the emails I sent out came from my own mother.  I know deep down she loves me, but we’re not a verbal family when it comes to positive topics.  It’s nice to know that she doesn’t think some of the choices I’ve made are awful, which is what I thought she saw.

—————-

Operation Grow the Heck Up is about to commence.  This is the title of my budgeting plan and my attempt to get my credit back on track.  Rent is officially caught up (and even paid early for November), and I will be starting on the other cards officially at the start of the new year – but doing some small steps now in prep for it, such as making sure my utilities are caught up and I have groceries in the house and in general just having a better understanding of where my money is going.  I opened a second bank account and will set aside a set amount per paycheck as my “play” money.  I’ll use this for when I want yarn, or a concert ticket, or to go have drinks/dinner with friends.  The main account will simply be used to pay off bills and nothing more.  I’m literally going to freeze the checkcard (as in, put it in the freezer in a block of ice) and write checks for groceries and bills.

—————-

Lastly, I got a thank you card from the ex’s dad last night.  I had sent a sympathy card when I found out ex’s Grandma had passed away.  She had made the trek out to Chicago a couple years ago for my graduation and she always seemed pleased to see me when we’d visit CT.  His card to me was short and sweet, but very loving.  I miss that family so very much… I wish breaking up with one person didn’t mean you lost other people in the fray as well, but I can’t dwell on it too much.  I know how they feel about me, and they know how I feel about them.  The fact that my ex is out of the picture doesn’t change that.

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More Forgiveness…

November 12, 2008 at 11:01 am · Filed under life, love, motivation

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you condone their behavior.  It simply means you are ridding yourself of the negative energy used to harbor hurt feelings.  It gives you the ability to focus your energy on more important things – namely yourself.

It’s not a verbatim quote, but it is just one of the items I got out of my tele-class last evening entitled, “Discover your Greatness.”

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My precious… let me show you it!

November 4, 2008 at 1:07 pm · Filed under Alzheimer's, life, love

I didn’t want to say anything until I had it in my hands (and on my hand, in case it didn’t fit), but last week I squealed with excitement when I found the Equus ring on ebay.  I emailed the seller, made a deal, and here it is!

I was worried about the fit, even though I went into Tiffany over the weekend to try on a size 6.5… the one ring they gave me to try on was way too small and the salesperson told me it was a 7.5!  I thought this might end up being a pinkie ring…

But nope!  She fits just right on my ring finger on my right hand.  I’ll drop her off at the store within the next couple days to make sure she’s 1, for real and 2, nice and clean.  In the meantime, she’s happy to be on my hand.

And whenever I look at her, I will think of my Great Aunt.

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I’d still vote for Jed Bartlett if I could.

November 4, 2008 at 9:13 am · Filed under Chicago, being a democrat

This is what my sticker would look like, IF THEY WERE GIVING THEM OUT AT MY POLLING LOCATION.  I just asked one of our admins if she’d print this out for me just so I could wear it.  I got a receipt, but it’s just not the same as the little sticker.

In 1996, I was 18, eligible and registered to vote.  To be quite honest, I cared very very little about politics and ignored most of what was said if only for the fact that I was working for a very, very conservative Republican who made us keep the Rush Limbaugh show on – if my boss walked in the front area (I worked in a print shop, helping customers) and Rush wasn’t on, he’d change the dial on the radio.  I hated Rush Limbaugh, and still do to this day.

However, in 1996, my best friend was dating a girl whose father was running for Mayor of Palm Bay, Florida (Google John Mazziotti- he doesn’t have his own Wikipedia page, but he should) and I thought it would be cool as heck to say the Mayor’s daughter was dating my best friend.  Since I didn’t know crap about Clinton, and knew my uber conservative boss was rooting for Dole, I decided to cast my vote for the 1996 election to Ross Perrot. These days, I think most people would agree it was a wasted vote – and in FLORIDA, no less, but this was before Florida became the laughing stock of the voting population.

In 2000 I did not vote.  I joke about how it probably didn’t matter because I was in Florida at the time and who knows if my vote would have counted, but in reality… I know I should have.  I was still of the mindset though that I really didn’t know, or care, about politics.

Between 2000 and 2004, I started to pay attention.  In the simplest terms, I was dating a guy who loved the show The West Wing and while watching it with him, I began to ask questions.  I began to wonder if it were possible to live in a world where someone like Jed Bartlett could actually BE president.  Someone who spoke well, encouraged Americans, and gave us all hope for the future.  I knew George Bush was no Jed Bartlett so when the 2004 election came around, I paid attention.  I volunteered to help sign people up to vote, while my ex did his part by becoming an election judge.  I watched the debates, I formed opinions, and I cast my vote (now in Illinois) for John Kerry.

When Kerry lost it was like someone punched me in the stomach.  I was devastated.

Today, 2008, I was in line at my polling place at 5:45am.  I was about the 20th person in line, but I made it in, and I cast my vote.  I’ve watched all the debates, I’ve read up on both candidates (and their potential VP’s), and I’ve made a choice I believe in.  I know I’ve got a really bad voting track record, but I sincerely hope that at the end of today I will be able to say that this man is our new president: 

And if, for some unknown, cruel twist of fate he is not?  Well, get me on that bus heading towards Canada because 8 years really WAS enough for me.

Go Obama!

 

PS – I will not be at the Obama Rally in downtown Chicago tonight, but I will be in the Loop.  Broadway in Chicago had a deal on tickets to either Wicked, Jersey Boys or Dirty Dancing – I’m going to see Dirty Dancing.  I hope the chaos of the rally doesn’t leak too far north into the loop, and I’ll be home in time to watch the story unfold as the polls close on the west coast.

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