Archive for exercise

Not bad… not bad..

December 31, 2008 at 8:56 am · Filed under daydreaming, debt, dreams, exercise, family, holidays, interior design, job stuff, knitting, life, love, motivation, travel

I knew I had one of these “resolution” posts floating around… so I checked it to see how I did for 2008.  All in all, not too shabby.  I do remember making a list half-way through the year of things I wanted to do by the end of the year and one of those items was to finish knitting a pair of socks and that SO did not happen.  Oh well.  At least there’s this:

- End the year with less debt.   Well, I can’t say this happened… but I certainly have a better idea of what my debt is – that counts for something, doesn’t it?  I also managed to get my cell phone to stop ringing with debt collector calls by changing my phone number.  heh.

- End the year with less fat.  I haven’t seen PJ since I’ve been back from my trip…  I did weigh myself this morning and I weigh exactly the same as I did last year on the first… does it count that I haven’t GAINED fat?

- End the year with less angst.  Much less angst-y about certain family situations.  Though, I have flown off the handle about relatively calm emails… I guess it means at least I’m not willing to be a doormat anymore.

- End the year with a nest-egg.  I do have one of these, though it might disappear once I have other dental work done in a couple weeks.  UGH.

- End the year with the same job I had at the beginning of the year.  I’d like this to continue through 2009 as well…  I totally enjoy working here and want to stay on for a while longer!!

- End the year having seen my paternal family.  Been there, done that… twice!  It sucks that it was done once for going to a funeral on my maternal side of the family, but… it reminded me how nice and caring they all can be!

 

As for 2009… here we go:

1. I’ll take the NCIDQ and pass it, first try.

2. I’ll end the year with less debt – for real.

3. As mentioned above, I’d like to end 2009 still at the job I’ve started it with.  Retail = never again!

4. I’d like to go to Ireland for a week.

5. I’ll visit my mother.

6. I’ll get my weight back under ___ lbs.

7. I’ll knit a pair of socks.

8. I’ll NOT have “ex-sex”.

9. I’ll upgrade my apartment (as in, get out of the studio… still waiting on word for that 1 bedroom.)

and finally

10. I’ll continue to do things because I want to do them, and not care what other people think or how crazy they seem.

Leave a Comment

Live it out loud…

November 13, 2008 at 11:30 am · Filed under Chicago, aches & pains, debt, exercise, family, life, motivation, self esteem, volunteering, weight

OK.. brain dump about to commence:

I’ve had 2 sessions with PJ.  Last week was my first and I felt good afterwards and confident I’d be able to complete my ‘homework’, which was to make sure I got to the gym twice during the week to do cardio. 

I failed my homework by not going at all.

I don’t know if it was my failed homework, or if she was just trying to push more or what, but last night.  Holy Jesus did she kick my ass.  The first thing she did was get a stair-stepper, put it to it’s highest setting and then put 2 30lb weights on it.  I laughed a little as she walked over with the weights because I half-expected she was going to make me do something with them, but no.  She put the stair-stepper with the weights atop it parallel to a column.  She then got one of those little stretchy exercise bands, put it around the column and said, “Ok, use these for stability and do your squats – your butt should barely touch the weights.”  I had to do 15 of these.

Then there were other exercises, and 15 more squats.

More exercises, and another 15 more squats.

Two different exercises and just when I thought I was done she had me do 15 more squats.

In case you lost count?  60 squats.  “See, if I had told you at the start of the hour you’d be doing 60 squats you would have run away.”  She’s totally right.

Anyhow, I’m super amped up today and hope it lasts throughout the day so that I go home, toss on my gym clothes, and go do my cardio tonight.  My legs don’t hurt so much today, but I know they will tomorrow – and I REALLY won’t want to go tomorrow.

——————–

I had to bail on Morrie this Monday because I had had a headache that had gone on for over a week and decided to go to the doctor to make sure something serious wasn’t going on.  The doctor attributed it to girly matters and when I asked why I’d suddenly get splitting headaches when that was never a side-effect before she said, “welcome to your thirties.”  Ugh. 

Anyhow, it was good that I went because I found out a test I had earlier this year was abnormal and I was supposed to go in for a follow-up in 6 months.  Turns out that 6 months is THIS month, so I’ve got another dr’s appointment next Monday.  Here’s hoping all goes well with that and the abnormal test result was a fluke.

But, going back to Morrie, I’m going to go visit him tomorrow night after work.  He’s a pleasure to talk to and have I mentioned he’s an amazing painter? 

This weekend is also the Chicken Luncheon for the hospital group I’m volunteering for (how I met Morrie).  Andi is going to come along with me and we’re going to talk with seniors, wrap gifts for the holidays, and…I’m not sure what else but it should be fun!

—————-

I took a tele-class earlier this week about finding my inner “Greatness”.  I was a little indifferent about the class at first, but I’m rethinking some of the lessons we did during the class and finding out different things about myself that I wasn’t hyper-aware of.  The best thing I got from it was an assignment (I seem to get alot of those lately) to ask people who are near and dear to me to name a couple of things that make me “great” in their eyes.  Sure, it sounds like fishing for compliments, and maybe it is a little bit, but honestly? It was EXACTLY what I needed.  Amazingly enough, the best response from the emails I sent out came from my own mother.  I know deep down she loves me, but we’re not a verbal family when it comes to positive topics.  It’s nice to know that she doesn’t think some of the choices I’ve made are awful, which is what I thought she saw.

—————-

Operation Grow the Heck Up is about to commence.  This is the title of my budgeting plan and my attempt to get my credit back on track.  Rent is officially caught up (and even paid early for November), and I will be starting on the other cards officially at the start of the new year – but doing some small steps now in prep for it, such as making sure my utilities are caught up and I have groceries in the house and in general just having a better understanding of where my money is going.  I opened a second bank account and will set aside a set amount per paycheck as my “play” money.  I’ll use this for when I want yarn, or a concert ticket, or to go have drinks/dinner with friends.  The main account will simply be used to pay off bills and nothing more.  I’m literally going to freeze the checkcard (as in, put it in the freezer in a block of ice) and write checks for groceries and bills.

—————-

Lastly, I got a thank you card from the ex’s dad last night.  I had sent a sympathy card when I found out ex’s Grandma had passed away.  She had made the trek out to Chicago a couple years ago for my graduation and she always seemed pleased to see me when we’d visit CT.  His card to me was short and sweet, but very loving.  I miss that family so very much… I wish breaking up with one person didn’t mean you lost other people in the fray as well, but I can’t dwell on it too much.  I know how they feel about me, and they know how I feel about them.  The fact that my ex is out of the picture doesn’t change that.

Leave a Comment

Oh GOD what did I do?

October 29, 2008 at 1:52 pm · Filed under Maui Marathon, Running, aches & pains, exercise, motivation, weight

I called my gym to see if I could set up an appointment with a personal trainer (I may have mentioned this a few times now) and I got an email response yesterday from a person named “PJ”.  I didn’t know if this person was a man or a woman and honestly I wasn’t sure what I was holding out for.   My gym is a little posh so I think it will be humiliating on SOME level no matter who it is – be it a hot guy or a hot girl.

Anyhow, PJ (which totally needs a creative acronym for something sadistic – seriously… it might mean the difference between me getting through this and me NOT getting through this.  I beg of you to comment with something clever!), sent an email asking what my goals were and what I hoped to get out of personal training.   I wanted to be up front and honest without flat out telling how much I weigh, because once PJ sees me in person I’m sure the first thing I’ll have to do is get on a scale.  I sent this in response:

My goals/reasons for hiring a personal trainer:
 
1. I do better with appointments.  I’ve had my membership at **** for nearly a year now and I could count maybe on one hand how many times I’ve been.  It’s quite an expensive donation, if you ask me.  I’d like to have it feel less like a donation and more like something I could actually enjoy paying for!
 
2. Weight Loss – I’ve got a family photo coming up next month and I’m DREADING it.  I know there isn’t much that can happen in a month, but if I’m at least on the PATH to where I used to be, that would be excellent.
 
3. I have some knee issues – the only way I can really describe it is they sound crunchy.  One doctor told me I simply needed to lose weight, another wanted me to get x-rays (and I’ll be honest, I haven’t done either!)
 
4. Ultimately, I want to be healthy enough to run a marathon before I turn 35.  I’ll be 31 in February.

Well, PJ just called me back.

PJ is a woman.

PJ sounds like a very perky woman.

I imagine the face I made when I heard her voice was similar to one Jen Lancaster might have made when she set up her first appointment with her trainer, Barbie.

I’m afraid.  Very, very afraid.

Leave a Comment

Let’s seize this day!

October 28, 2008 at 9:17 am · Filed under Maui Marathon, baking, exercise, life, motivation, volunteering, weight

I met “Morrie” last night.  Morrie, from here on out, is what you will know my Senior Citizen that I am Friendly Visiting as.

Morrie isn’t quite homebound, but he is lonely in that his wife is mentally ill, in a nursing home, and therefore he is alone all the time.  Morrie is also an amazing, AMAZING painter.  He showed me a half dozen things he has painted and I just stood there in awe.  On top of it all, aside from a drawing class he took in high school many moons ago, he is otherwise self-taught! 

I’m really going to enjoy getting to know him!

Tonight when I get home I’m going to do something unprecedented: I’m going to bake cupcakes.  Two different kinds, at that!  Of course, before I can make said cupcakes I have to first do my dishes and put them all away properly so I can use the 18″ of counter space I have to do all the baking a decorating on.

I hope to take photos of this momentus occasion.  It’s not that I can’t bake or cook, it’s really just that my kitchen is so ridiculously tiny that I rarely spend time in there.  However, I was deeply offended when someone came to my house once and called my kitchen “scary” – it was even CLEAN at that time (well, maybe aside from a couple dishes)..  my point is, it wasn’t scary to them because of the mess, more that things in there are old and whatnot.  I think it was just one of those moments where it’s ok for you to make fun of something of your own, but if anyone else thinks it’s crap?  Well, they’re just being an asshat.

What else, what else… I think that’s it… OH!  Other than the fact that I am trying to hire a personal trainer through my gym.  Again, I do better with “appointments”, so if I’ve got one with someone at my gym who will help me get into a good exercise regimine I might actually GO to my gym instead of just donating money to them every month.  Maui 2010, anyone?

Leave a Comment

Just keep swimming.. swimming.. swimming..

August 20, 2008 at 1:37 pm · Filed under Chicago, Maui Marathon, aches & pains, dating, exercise, life, motivation, swimming, weight

Folks, I did the unthinkable: I gave the link to my blog to someone I’m sort-of seeing in an undefined, yet somewhat exclusive sort of way.  In other words: it’s complicated but I’m happy.  He has a nickname that my friends have heard stories from, but I’ve actually started to call him by his real first name which is a rather big step for me. And we’ll leave it at that.

Anyhow, I mention that because in doing so it sort of forced me to go back and reread some of my older stuff on here to see what kind of picture I might be painting out there to the general masses.   Later posts bitch of lack of romance, family crap, and general everyday fluff.  Earlier posts have this gung-ho, I am woman – hear me roar attitude towards running a marathon that I had all but forgotten about.

Last week I watched the women’s marathon in the Olympics and became somewhat inspired again.  I still have knee issues though, so I decided on Saturday morning to take different inspiration from Michael Phelps and go to the gym for a swim.   I mean, any movement at this point is an improvement- especially since I only have 5 months left of a 12 month membership to a gym that I have been to only a handful of times?  It was time to go. 

So I stopped at my local Walgreens and got some goggles.  I figured, hey… if I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna LOOK like I know what I’m doing, right?  (I refuse to do a swimcap though… I just can’t bring myself to wear one.) I went in the gym and first tried the pool on the roof.  After peering through the window and seeing all around the pool were trixie-looking  girls I decided instead to go to the pool in the basement.   The 3 lanes were full, but there was one girl in the middle lane who offered to share with me.  I thanked her and sat at her lane with my feet in the water at the edge of the deep end of the pool as I adjusted the strap on my new goggles. 

Goggle-strap good to go, I hop in the water.  I forget an important thing as I do this: Gravity.  I wasn’t in the 3′ end of the pool so of course my fat ass immediately gets sucked under water and therefore I end up taking a breath juuuust as my nose hits the water.  You know that lovely feeling where you’ve got water up your nose and you wish someone could invent a blowdryer for your lungs?  That’s about where I was.  I somehow managed to come up for real air, sans water, and not look or sound like a dead seal with my coughing. 

Michael Phelps I most certainly am not.

I still managed to keep myself moving in the water for a full 20 minutes.  I didn’t swim laps the entire time – I did spend part of the time just simply treading water, but again: it was movement and it was good.

Sunday I moved furniture, did not go to the gym.

Monday was the day I shared my blog and got the inspiration and remembered that someone had told me, “You just have to get out there – once you’re there you can choose not to move if you don’t want to,” and therefore went to the gym anyhow.  I didn’t swim for a full 20 minutes, it was about 15 this time, but I did get in a few good laps and capped it all off with 5 minutes in the whirlpool. 

Since I have plans for the next 3 evenings I am planning to hit the water aerobics class on Saturday morning if for no other reason than to get some ideas on other exercises I can do in the pool.  I found some online, but I think some in-person instruction might be the better way to go.  Who knows, maybe I’ll even find a swimming buddy to encourage me to go to the gym more often.

Comments (1)

I have a dream, a song to sing…

July 23, 2008 at 8:12 am · Filed under Maui Marathon, dating, daydreaming, debt, dreams, exercise, job stuff, knitting, life, love, motivation, travel, weight

It’s been a long time since I’ve actually sat down and figured out what it is I want to do with my life because for the most part, I like to think I’m living it.  A few minor (maybe major) changes to be made, which is why I think it’s time to come up with a couple of lists. 

Short-term goals (before year’s end)
1. To be at a weight that doesn’t start with the number 2.
2. To come up with a plan for managing my debt (be it actually filing for bankruptcy or paying one card off at a time) AND STICKING TO IT.
3. This sounds trivial to some, but I want to finish knitting a pair of socks for once!

Long-term goals (before I turn 35)
1. Pass the NCIDQ so I can “officially” be a “Designer”.
2. Run and/or walk the Maui Marathon.
3. Visit Ireland (specifically for the Aran Islands).
4. Visit Spain (specifically to see this Calatrava building).

The major one I’d like to throw into the mix, which is out of my control, is to fall in love and eventually marry.  It makes me a little sad when I actually think I may end up being a woman who never bears a child, but then I remind myself that things happen for a reason and let’s face it – I haven’t run into anyone who would have been good father material in the past.

Comments (3)

Saturday Night, Single Gal Style

June 21, 2008 at 8:53 pm · Filed under Chicago, dating, exercise, life, motivation, wine

Earlier I was going so stir-crazy and it was only 6:30.  I decided to use that fancy keychain that allows me access into the gym I’m paying for and went for a swim.  I thought I’d last longer than I did, but I guess the point is that I went.

And now? Now I am settled in with Mystic Pizza (free movie on demand) a glass of the aforepictured wine (not the fancy feast though… it’s a little too salty for my taste) and I’m vegging on my sofa.

Sometimes, being single has its perks.  Sitting with a glass of wine and chlorinated hair? That’s just two of them.

(I have to say though, watching Mystic Pizza? Further encouragement to move back east someday.)

Comments (2)

Those shoes were NOT made for walking.

June 4, 2008 at 8:05 am · Filed under Chicago, Nike Chip, Shoes, aches & pains, exercise, interesting, motivation, stupid, walking, weight

I had to take the train home last night because RSG (Ride-Share-Guy) left work early because he wasn’t feeling well.  Normally I go all the way downtown and find my way back to the northside, but got a crazy idea to hop off the train at Western and walk through my old neighborhood (Now lovingly known as “enemy territory”, or to one of my friends, “asshatville”).  

Since I wasn’t prepared for this walk, I was wearing the worst shoes ever and every time I stopped at a light or to cross a street my feet were burning – but if I started walking again they felt fine so I kept going.  Also because of the impromptu-ness of this walk, I was not wearing said Nike Chip so I had to go on Google Maps to see exactly how far I had gone.  The results?  Approximately 2.2 miles!  WOO!

I checked out a couple things this morning such as: What if I got off the train at a different stop?  How far would that be?  What if I had just walked all the way home? How far was that?  Well, here’s what I found out:

If I had walked all the way home it would have been about 5.5 miles.

If I took a later train and got off at the stop “closest” to my house in relation to where it stops north/south, it would be about 5 miles.

If I took the OTHER train and got off at the stop closest to my house it would be a 3.3 mile walk home.

I think with comfy shoes, I could make that 3.3 mile walk.  Not today (even in comfy shoes and after giving my feet a soak last night they are still rather blistered)… but perhaps either later this week or next week on the day I have to take the train home…  I can do this.

Leave a Comment

Moo.

May 15, 2008 at 9:27 am · Filed under Chicago, dating, exercise, interior design, life, motivation, music, nostalgia, self esteem, weight

So, I’ve had 3 brushes with “fame” over the past few week or so.  There was Jen Lancaster’s book signing last Tuesday, and last night I got autographs and photos with both members of Flight of the Conchords.

I also saw Eddie Izzard walking out of the Chicago Theater, but I have no photographic evidence of this – but take my word for it… he looked FABULOUS.

Anyhow, I’d LOVE to show you the photo I got of me and Jen, and of me and Bret, and of me and Jemaine, but the thing is someone has taken over the upper half of my body and has thrown all my extra weight in my arms, face, and boobs.  In EVERY photo I’m sporting a double chin, and in a couple of them I’m sporting the largest arms on the planet.

Self Esteem = 0.

I had to go back and check a photo of me with a celebrity from a while back (Summer of 2003, 5 years ago) to see if I had always looked as bad as I think I do in these recent ones, and you know, I didn’t:

I’m not crazy skinny here, I’m wearing a size 14 pant, which had some give to it, and I was wearing one of my favorite shirts which I know I would never be able to wear anymore (and I don’t think I even own it anymore).  The most important thing to note, aside from yes, that’s Frank Bielec from Trading Spaces, is that I only have ONE chin.

What’s even more sick about this photo?  That scribbled out guy is my ex.  Now? He’s lost quite a decent amount of weight – his fat cells have somehow transferred themself onto my body!

If I could truly believe that – that the extra weight I’m carrying around is burden left over from the relationship-of-which-I-don’t-want-to-speak-of… maybe, just maybe, I might have enough motivation to have my next photo with a celeb be one in which there are 2 chins: The celebrity’s and mine.

In the meantime, I have my first appointment with a nutritionist this evening.  I know he/she is going to make me keep a food diary and… yeah.  Not looking forward to it, but perhaps this is exactly what I need right now.  For what it’s worth, I’ve printed out the pictures of me with Jen, Bret, and Jemaine, as well as the photo with Frank above.  I want he/she to understand why I’m suddenly miserable in my body.  I hope I find the motivation to love the body I’m in again.

Comments (1)

Here and Now.

May 7, 2008 at 9:51 am · Filed under aches & pains, exercise, life, motivation, weight

Ok.. all this talk about shit that happened in the past is bothering ME and it’s MY blog, so let’s change that, shall we?  Current Events:

Well, really I only have 2: I went to the doctor for my knees last night, and I met Jen Lancaster.  One is far more exciting than the other, but I’ll tell you both stories anyhow.

Let’s start with the doc.

So, my new “main” doctor basically told me the reasons my knees go “crunch” is because I’m fat.   The way he said it, he implied that all size 14/16 women have knee problems similar to mine.  If I’d simply lose a few pounds, I’d be juuuuust fine.  Hmm, is that bullshit I smell?

I called the dr’s office and decided to see a DIFFERENT doctor and get a second opinion.   The nurse on the phone suggested I come in on a Tuesday and see Doc T, who specializes in sports-type medicine.   Lovely.

Of course, I wasn’t thinking when I left the house without shaving my legs yesterday morning that a visit to a doctor to look at my knee would involve her pulling up my pant leg.  (She’s telling me to relax and all I can think is, “I could have at least put lotion on so I wouldn’t be hairy AND shedding a layer of skin.”  Oh well.)   Anyhow, her assistant (I think Resident – she’s probably an Attending – Thanks for my medical knowledge – Grey’s Anatomy!) did the poking and prodding first and there were a couple sensitive spots, but nothing hardcore. 

The resident left the room to talk to Dr. T, the attending, and then both of them came back in.  Dr. T tells me she’s going to feel around for a bit while Resi McResident tells me what they think is wrong with my knee.  Just as RR is starting to talk, Dr. T does something that has me gripping the sides of the table in pain and saying, “UHM. OW!” Then, I got the typical doctor response to my reaction, “Oh, does it hurt when I do that?”  Nah.. I just like to writhe around while a doctor is touching my hairy, scaly, limbs.   This is the best time ever! Yay!

Anyhow, her suggestions/assumptions were these: She wants me to get an x-ray to check for arthritis, though she thinks if it is arthritis it shouldn’t be too bad as I am, “still quite young.”  She wants to put me on a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug (which she warned me has some nasty side effects – one she didn’t tell me in person was that this med is not recommended for people with a prior history of blood clots.  I’m currently waiting for a call back to make sure she read my novel of a chart to see that I’ve had one before).  And she wants me to go to Physical Therapy.  This last thing has me curious what they would make me do… and would this be the closest thing I’ll ever have to a personal trainer?  We’ll see.

I did ask her what I COULD do at the gym, as the elliptical hurts, as does the treadmill after a bit, and lets not even discuss the stairmaster.  Her suggestion was swimming.  Since I now have a decent swimsuit thanks to my Florida trip, I think I’ll be making some trips to my gym’s pool in the near future.  The only reason I haven’t yet is because I’m wearing my last pair of daily contacts (for 2 days now) and I have to have something in my eyes to go swimming.  If I were to go in glasses I’d probably run into someone in the pool while I was doggie paddling my laps.  (Though on the other hand, if I didn’t have glasses in, I wouldn’t see other people looking at me wondering how they let Shamu out of Sea World.  (hehe! Get it?? Shamu?? My suit is black and I’m so pale I’m practically white??  And I’m fat?? No.. not funny?  Whatever.  I’m laughing.)

And because I’ve babbled about my knees, I’m going to hold off on my Jen Lancaster story for now.  Besides, I want to be able to post the photos I took from her book reading/signing.  I will say this: she’s STUNNING in person, and so crazy funny!  I’m reading her new book, Such a Pretty Fat, and I’ve already had to call 2 of my friends to read small passages to them because they’re things that have or could have come out in our own conversations.   I highly recommend her new book already, and I haven’t even finished it!

Comments (1)

Older Posts »