I called my gym to see if I could set up an appointment with a personal trainer (I may have mentioned this a few times now) and I got an email response yesterday from a person named “PJ”. I didn’t know if this person was a man or a woman and honestly I wasn’t sure what I was holding out for. My gym is a little posh so I think it will be humiliating on SOME level no matter who it is – be it a hot guy or a hot girl.
Anyhow, PJ (which totally needs a creative acronym for something sadistic – seriously… it might mean the difference between me getting through this and me NOT getting through this. I beg of you to comment with something clever!), sent an email asking what my goals were and what I hoped to get out of personal training. I wanted to be up front and honest without flat out telling how much I weigh, because once PJ sees me in person I’m sure the first thing I’ll have to do is get on a scale. I sent this in response:
My goals/reasons for hiring a personal trainer:
1. I do better with appointments. I’ve had my membership at **** for nearly a year now and I could count maybe on one hand how many times I’ve been. It’s quite an expensive donation, if you ask me. I’d like to have it feel less like a donation and more like something I could actually enjoy paying for!
2. Weight Loss – I’ve got a family photo coming up next month and I’m DREADING it. I know there isn’t much that can happen in a month, but if I’m at least on the PATH to where I used to be, that would be excellent.
3. I have some knee issues – the only way I can really describe it is they sound crunchy. One doctor told me I simply needed to lose weight, another wanted me to get x-rays (and I’ll be honest, I haven’t done either!)
4. Ultimately, I want to be healthy enough to run a marathon before I turn 35. I’ll be 31 in February.
Well, PJ just called me back.
PJ is a woman.
PJ sounds like a very perky woman.
I imagine the face I made when I heard her voice was similar to one Jen Lancaster might have made when she set up her first appointment with her trainer, Barbie.
I met “Morrie” last night. Morrie, from here on out, is what you will know my Senior Citizen that I am Friendly Visiting as.
Morrie isn’t quite homebound, but he is lonely in that his wife is mentally ill, in a nursing home, and therefore he is alone all the time. Morrie is also an amazing, AMAZING painter. He showed me a half dozen things he has painted and I just stood there in awe. On top of it all, aside from a drawing class he took in high school many moons ago, he is otherwise self-taught!
I’m really going to enjoy getting to know him!
Tonight when I get home I’m going to do something unprecedented: I’m going to bake cupcakes. Two different kinds, at that! Of course, before I can make said cupcakes I have to first do my dishes and put them all away properly so I can use the 18″ of counter space I have to do all the baking a decorating on.
I hope to take photos of this momentus occasion. It’s not that I can’t bake or cook, it’s really just that my kitchen is so ridiculously tiny that I rarely spend time in there. However, I was deeply offended when someone came to my house once and called my kitchen “scary” – it was even CLEAN at that time (well, maybe aside from a couple dishes).. my point is, it wasn’t scary to them because of the mess, more that things in there are old and whatnot. I think it was just one of those moments where it’s ok for you to make fun of something of your own, but if anyone else thinks it’s crap? Well, they’re just being an asshat.
What else, what else… I think that’s it… OH! Other than the fact that I am trying to hire a personal trainer through my gym. Again, I do better with “appointments”, so if I’ve got one with someone at my gym who will help me get into a good exercise regimine I might actually GO to my gym instead of just donating money to them every month. Maui 2010, anyone?
Folks, I did the unthinkable: I gave the link to my blog to someone I’m sort-of seeing in an undefined, yet somewhat exclusive sort of way. In other words: it’s complicated but I’m happy. He has a nickname that my friends have heard stories from, but I’ve actually started to call him by his real first name which is a rather big step for me. And we’ll leave it at that.
Anyhow, I mention that because in doing so it sort of forced me to go back and reread some of my older stuff on here to see what kind of picture I might be painting out there to the general masses. Later posts bitch of lack of romance, family crap, and general everyday fluff. Earlier posts have this gung-ho, I am woman – hear me roar attitude towards running a marathon that I had all but forgotten about.
Last week I watched the women’s marathon in the Olympics and became somewhat inspired again. I still have knee issues though, so I decided on Saturday morning to take different inspiration from Michael Phelps and go to the gym for a swim. I mean, any movement at this point is an improvement- especially since I only have 5 months left of a 12 month membership to a gym that I have been to only a handful of times? It was time to go.
So I stopped at my local Walgreens and got some goggles. I figured, hey… if I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna LOOK like I know what I’m doing, right? (I refuse to do a swimcap though… I just can’t bring myself to wear one.) I went in the gym and first tried the pool on the roof. After peering through the window and seeing all around the pool were trixie-looking girls I decided instead to go to the pool in the basement. The 3 lanes were full, but there was one girl in the middle lane who offered to share with me. I thanked her and sat at her lane with my feet in the water at the edge of the deep end of the pool as I adjusted the strap on my new goggles.
Goggle-strap good to go, I hop in the water. I forget an important thing as I do this: Gravity. I wasn’t in the 3′ end of the pool so of course my fat ass immediately gets sucked under water and therefore I end up taking a breath juuuust as my nose hits the water. You know that lovely feeling where you’ve got water up your nose and you wish someone could invent a blowdryer for your lungs? That’s about where I was. I somehow managed to come up for real air, sans water, and not look or sound like a dead seal with my coughing.
Michael Phelps I most certainly am not.
I still managed to keep myself moving in the water for a full 20 minutes. I didn’t swim laps the entire time – I did spend part of the time just simply treading water, but again: it was movement and it was good.
Sunday I moved furniture, did not go to the gym.
Monday was the day I shared my blog and got the inspiration and remembered that someone had told me, “You just have to get out there – once you’re there you can choose not to move if you don’t want to,” and therefore went to the gym anyhow. I didn’t swim for a full 20 minutes, it was about 15 this time, but I did get in a few good laps and capped it all off with 5 minutes in the whirlpool.
Since I have plans for the next 3 evenings I am planning to hit the water aerobics class on Saturday morning if for no other reason than to get some ideas on other exercises I can do in the pool. I found some online, but I think some in-person instruction might be the better way to go. Who knows, maybe I’ll even find a swimming buddy to encourage me to go to the gym more often.
It’s been a long time since I’ve actually sat down and figured out what it is I want to do with my life because for the most part, I like to think I’m living it. A few minor (maybe major) changes to be made, which is why I think it’s time to come up with a couple of lists.
Short-term goals (before year’s end) 1. To be at a weight that doesn’t start with the number 2.
2. To come up with a plan for managing my debt (be it actually filing for bankruptcy or paying one card off at a time) AND STICKING TO IT.
3. This sounds trivial to some, but I want to finish knitting a pair of socks for once!
Long-term goals (before I turn 35)
1. Pass the NCIDQ so I can “officially” be a “Designer”.
2. Run and/or walk the Maui Marathon.
3. Visit Ireland (specifically for the Aran Islands).
4. Visit Spain (specifically to see this Calatrava building).
The major one I’d like to throw into the mix, which is out of my control, is to fall in love and eventually marry. It makes me a little sad when I actually think I may end up being a woman who never bears a child, but then I remind myself that things happen for a reason and let’s face it – I haven’t run into anyone who would have been good father material in the past.
Speaking of planning, I’m trying to figure out what to do with my vacation time this year.
The plus side of starting work before January 1 is that sometime in June or July I’ll get 2 weeks vacation that have to be used by the end of the year. I’m determined to spend one of the holidays with family so that I don’t fall into the pit of depression I never think I will fall into but always do… But there’s a whole summer…
Now, I should be planning Maui 2008. Over a year ago I said I wanted to run a marathon before I turned 30 and failed. Then I said I wanted to run a marathon while I was 30, and I’m already planning on failing that one. It’s not that I don’t want to run a marathon, or that I’ve given up on the dream of it… It just doesn’t feel right this time. It felt right when I was planning it last year. Therefore I’m putting it on record that my marathon plans are officially on hold.
My idea right now is a trip to New England. Not just New England to see family, but a trip to Cape Cod. I have never, in all my 30 years, set foot on The Cape. Hell, it wasn’t until 6 years ago that I actually explored Boston. When you grow up in Massachusetts and move away when you’re young, your visits back to the state involve (as they should) visiting family as priority #1. So, I figure if I give myself a week to spend over yonder coast, I can spend half the time with the family, and the other half exploring bits I have yet to see.
I don’t know how possible it is, but I want to go to the very very tip of The Cape.
See that bit right there that points to Provincetown Harbor? Right there. I imagine this will involve a very long walk, but… hey, this is good in lieu of a marathon, right? I wonder if I’d still have cell service out there?
I also think I’ll take a drive through my old stomping grounds in Rhode Island so I can catch up with my friends I’ve recently found again thanks to Myspace. Lucky for me the states up there are small, so even though I’m planning on going to lots of places in my week, it’s completely do-able.
Of course, this is all contingent on getting caught up on rent and making some progress with these silly credit cards that are haunting me. Someday, I will have good credit once again.
Last year around this time, I was hanging around with K-rad quite a bit and he had come up with a plan to make 2007 “The Year of K”. I had my own plans for making 2007 “The Year of A”, but it didn’t quite work out like I had hoped.
So, I’m starting fresh. 2008 is going to be a good year for me – 2 and 8 are numbers I tend to like (weird, but my birthday falls on the 28th, so I think it has something to do with it), and I’ll turn 30 in a couple of months (2 months, 1 day – to be precise.) I have no doubt I can, at this time next year, look back on 2008 with nothing but fondness. Here’s some of my plan to do just that:
- End the year with less debt. I was supposed to be out of crazy debt by the time I turned 30, but the past year has left me in a bit of dire straits. I will get a couple of credit cards paid off (then subsequently cut up), and the others I will make regular payments on so that my cell phone will ring from people other than bill collectors.
- End the year with less fat. Right now, as it stands, I’m still planning on Maui 2008. It’s debatable if I’ll do the full or half marathon (mostly because I saw people pass out and die at the Chicago marathon), but either way I’m walking a whole bunch in Hawaii in September so therefore I need to train, which means I need to get off my ass and get into a gym.
- End the year with less angst. It’s been said that certain members of my family are “dirty fighters” where as I tend to just be the one who gets to sit back and take the punches. Unfortunately, this leaves me with some pent-up anger that sits for days on end because I can’t stop obsessing about whatever it was that came up. I’m going to make a point of saying what I feel, when I feel it. I don’t want to become a dirty fighter, but I also don’t want to play doormat any longer.
- End the year with a nest-egg. This goes back to the less debt thing, but having some money socked away for a rainy day (or sudden unemployment) would not be a bad thing.
- End the year with the same job I had at the beginning of the year. The words “Retail” and “unemployment” will not exist in my vocabulary. (Hopefully this will mean my nest egg can carry into 2009!)
- End the year having seen my paternal family. I’m looking at times I can get to the East Coast, since I haven’t been there in 2 years now… I’m long overdue for a trip to New England – bring on the Lobstah!
Essentially I want to improve main aspects of my life: health, finances, emotional stability. These past two years of my 20’s have sucked the life out of me, and now that I have a job I love again there are no more excuses to get things started. Four more days to lay low then it all starts, right?
(heh, for the record I had to specifically look at a calendar to see what week # this past one was.)
So, let’s recap things, shall we?
That “utility issue” was taken care of and now I have a much better deal for my internet, tv and phone in my apartment. I even managed to figure out how to set up my internet from one company to another (which wasn’t nearly as simple as plugging my router into the new modem, surprisingly), AND I made my connection secure again. Hooray for me!
I went on a second interview for a job out in the suburbs that I was pretty sure I would get. Of course I got the phone call Friday afternoon just after 5 that they decided to go with another candidate. This lead to all sorts of things such as:
1. Wondering why the hell I moved to Chicago in the first place. You know how when things are currently bad you can sort of see the past with rose-colored glasses? Well, my rosy glasses painted my last major Florida job as being the best thing since sliced bread, and the fact that I knew my former relationship would never turn into anything serious, as a means to think, “I had it better down there.” Of course, I moved for a reason, and I did get my degree, but it was hard to come to terms with it during the course of the week.
2. Wondering if I shouldn’t move to Massachusetts to start “new” by living closer to my dad and that side of my family. I’ve sort of put this thought on hold for the time being because I know moving would cost more than somehow coming up with my rent.
I found out I’m not “needed” as a Teaching Assistant this semester and TOTALLY took that personally until I talked to a couple former professors who were once on the schedule themselves (in semesters past) and suddenly found themselves going from 5 classes to 4, to 3, to 2, to 1, to none. In every sense of the word my former college is a corporation, and that’s just how things go there.
I went out with the “he’s so cute” on the phone guy. It was a spur of the moment thing on Friday after I got the no on the job and I was surprisingly upbeat when we went out… I did get the ‘wow, you’re fat’ vibe from him, though. Maybe there’s a chance I misread him, but I haven’t heard from him since, so it’s quite possible that I won’t hear from him again.
Today was the Maui Marathon. I’m in Chicago. ‘Nuff said.
The sheer quantities of pep talks I’ve received over the past week has been nothing short of amazing. I do know some great people, and I’m really aiming to make the best of what I’ve got here – even if right now it doesn’t seem like much at all.
I’m going to admit something here: I really really wanted Britney Spears to wow the VMAs this year. Kinda in the same way she did back here:
But yeah… like everyone is going to talk about, she looked scared. She looked nervous. She looked like she would have nailed some of those dance moves if only she were wearing something more like what she had on during rehearsals perhaps…
I think she was on the right track by doing the VMAs in the first place, but I’m really bummed about her performance.
In other ramblings, today was… in a word – dull. I sold some things on eBay last week and the money from it is in a Paypal nether-world. I literally had no more than 4$ on me today (and that’s from cashing in change at the grocery store), and 2$ in the bank (better than a negative balance). I did get out of the house and go sit on the lake for an hour or so, contemplating the idea of getting a boat instead of a job, but thinking better of it.My boredom, combined with some utility nonsense that came to light earlier this week, caused me to ramble [read: bitch a bit] at my mother when it sounded like she was pro- other team. She wasn’t, but I laid into her like she was because in this whole stupidity, I know I am in the right. I apologized, but still feel a bit bad about it.
Oh, and one more thing: this Wednesday I should be getting on a plane to Maui. In theory, I should be mentally and physically prepared to run 26.2 miles next weekend. The fact that I’m not any of those things really makes me feel weak. Admitting that? Not fun. What will I do about it? I refuse to answer.
I am unemployed, in a waiting period with the renderings, putting together bits and pieces of my portfolio, and have NO excuse what-so-ever to not throw on my fancy running shoes and get out on the lake tomorrow.
How do I actually do it though? How do I not give in to the “I’ll go tomorrow”s that I’ve been giving myself all year?
The truth of the matter is, even if I could have afforded the hotel, I probably wouldn’t have made it past the first mile in Maui.
They say it takes 11 days to make something a habit – I can’t even get myself to do ONE day.
I was just reading a story of a woman about to embark on a journey across the pacific in a row-boat, thinking how amazing this story is, and suddenly remembering the time for the Maui Marathon is drawing near. Ironically enough, I have more time on my hands these days and probably wouldn’t of had to worry much about taking time off work.
I’m still inspired for 2008, though… I hope to be posting about this more.
I wonder if I’d still have cell service out there?